Atonement: What If?
by pearlchavez
Summary: Atonement: What if the film hadn't ended like that? What if what they both wanted came true?


Cecelia sat up in horror as she watched the river of fierce water coming towards the tube station rapidly

Cecelia sat up in horror as she watched the river of fierce water coming towards the tube station rapidly. The sounds of the children and adults screaming around her became echoed and distant. It was like a dream, she couldn't believe what the outcome of this was going to be. She couldn't believe that this was where her life would end. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate only on her intense breathing. Robbie's face flashed across her eyes and despite the tumour of fear racing through her body, she smiled.

"I'll be seeing you," she whispered, and then she could hear or see nothing.

"Robbie!" Cecelia opened her eyes and sat up immediately, straining her back as she did so. She looked around her, expecting to see him standing before her and maybe some white pearly gates separating them. She couldn't believe that all she could see was her old bedroom. She blinked again and opened her eyes, but nothing had changed, except from the fact that the sun was shining through the window instead of rain tapping on it. "Robbie!" She called again, noticing that her whole body was shaking.

"Cee?" Her Mother came running into the bedroom, obviously alerted by her eldest daughter's sudden raised voice. "Cee, what's the matter?"

"Why am I here?" Cecelia asked desperately. Why was she at home? She swore she would never return after the horrendous way they had treated Robbie after that incident.

"What? Darling, I think you've had a nightmare," her Mother chuckled quietly. How could she be so humorous when her estranged daughter was in such a state?

"No, I said I'd never come back here!" Cecelia cried, her heart was racing again. "Not after what you all said about Robbie! I was in the tube station, I thought I would – I thought there was no hope!" Her Mother's face was suddenly showing a worried expression. Why was she so surprised? "They sent me here, didn't they? Because you and the old man are my next of kin! That's right, isn't it?"

"Darling, you've had a nightmare, nothing happened," she assured her, holding her wrists down, probably to save her from attacking. Cecelia pulled free and edged away from her Mother.

"No, we haven't spoken in years Mother! Stop lying to me!" She screamed, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. Why was this happening? "They were bombing London! I haven't lost my memory! I still remember!"

"Cee please, you're scaring me," her Mother said calmly, trying to disguise her worry, but the woman seemed not to have a clue what the hell was going on. "There's been no bombings in London. This is your Father, isn't it? This is because he said there would be a war, that's what's caused this!"

"There was a war! I was nursing soldiers! Why are you acting like this? You were there the night Lola was assaulted!" Cecelia sobbed, covering her face, why wouldn't she go away? Why was she back at her old house? Her Mother gasped and covered her mouth, a tear slipping from her eye.

"Nothing's happened to Lola!" She snapped, trying to put her hand on Cecelia's trembling shoulder, but she pushed her away. Cecelia glared at her; unable to believe why her Mother would lie.

"Shut up Mother! Don't do that! Don't pretend it never happened! Robbie was sent away, that's why he became a soldier – "

"Robbie's in the garden Cecelia!" Her Mother protested.

"No, he's dead! They sent me the letter; they said it was septicaemia. He died underground, he's imprisoned underground forever and I didn't even get to say goodbye," she said, feeling all of the emotions returning to her. The emotions she felt when she first heard. "We were meant to go to the cottage on the beach when he had leave, but then Briony –"

"What about Briony?" Her Mother asked curiously, becoming interested in her daughter's so-called dream.

"Don't act like you don't know! You were there the night she said Robbie assaulted Lola!" Cecelia hissed furiously.

"Go to the garden Cecelia," she said softly, indicating to the open door. She passed Cecelia her old dressing gown, which she wrapped around her body, unable to tie the cord because she was still shaking.

"Why?" She asked suspiciously.

"Just go, I promise you'll be alright," she insisted. Cecelia would go. She had nothing left to lose. Even if they had arranged someone from the nearest mental institution to pick her up, it would be a better life than this.

Cecelia ran out into the vast garden. She looked around to see if there was anyone waiting for her in a van, complete with a strait jacket. So far she was safe. The sun was warm, she could feel its rays warming her and tempting her to sweat. She sat down on the step, trying to make sense of what was going on. It was a nightmare; it had to be a nightmare. Her Mother was only trying to calm her down.

"You're up early, aren't you?" Cecelia felt her heart skip a beat. No, it couldn't be him. He had died in Dunkirk, they had told her. They had even included the old postcards that she had sent him. There was no way that was him. Perhaps Leon had come earlier than expected, he and Robbie had always sounded alike.

Cecelia looked up and gasped. There he was, standing with an open buttoned baby blue shirt on with his vest underneath showing. He looked fine. She couldn't believe how normal he looked. Before his face had prematurely aged with the stress lines and the signs of permanent dirt. His hair was longer, unlike before. Strands of it were coming down and covering his forehead. His blue eyes were so clear, before they had been clouded with bags under his eyes and the constant look of pain and sorrow in them.

"Robbie!" She screamed, standing up and wrapping her arms around him. She felt his hands go around her waist. She buried her face into his chest and felt herself burst into relieved and bewildered tears. "They told me you were dead!"

"Who told you?" He asked her, wiping her tears away. She saw the same look of confusion that had possessed her Mother's face.

"You died in Dunkirk! They sent me all your letters!" She cried, what was going on? "Did they make a mistake? I've heard of that happening. They make mistakes, but why are you here? I thought you would be at my flat."

"Cee, I don't understand, I've been here, I've always been here," he said softly, still holding her in his arms.

"Did they clear your name? Did Briony admit that she never saw you?" She asked hopefully, a smile erupting on her face. "Is that why you're here?"

She then began crying with happiness. "I knew it wasn't you all along. No one believed me, only your Mother. I knew it; I knew Briony was lying. Has she apologized? Has she told you who really saw Lola being assaulted?"

"Cee, I don't know what you're talking about," Robbie confessed, sounding sincere. Robbie wouldn't pretend or lie to her. They had always been honest with each other, but here he was, looking completely bewildered. "Nothing happened to Lola, I never died and Briony hasn't lied about anything like that."

"Robbie please, you don't have to pretend that it never happened!" Cecelia pleaded. She didn't want to be insane; she didn't want to admit that she had been wrong. "You have every right to be bloody angry with them!"

"Cee, please, just calm down," he whispered to her softly, stroking her hair softly. "I think you've had a nightmare."

"Don't tell me I've had a bloody nightmare! It was October 1940!" She snapped, pulling away, massaging her forehead to try and make sense of everything.

"Cecelia, it's summer 1935," Robbie insisted softly, putting his hand on her shoulder, and this time she didn't pull away. She didn't want to believe it, she didn't want to be crazy, but she knew he was right. His appearance and laidback greeting had proven it to her. The sun was shining like it had on that fateful day. The warmth was unbearable, like it had been that day, and Robbie was wearing the exact same clothes he had been on that day. It was summer 1935 and from Robbie's behaviour it was clear that they hadn't yet visited the fountain. He was completely unaware of how she felt.

"Oh God," she whispered, sitting back down on the stair. Robbie automatically sat down next to her. "You're right. I'm so – but I was so sure." She buried her head into her knees and began crying again.

"Cee, it's alright," Robbie soothed, putting his arm around her. "It was only a nightmare, you wouldn't believe how realistic some things seem. Why you dreamt of me though, that's a little odd, don't you think?"

"I don't know why," she sobbed, looking up at him again. "Briony said that you assaulted Lola today, in my dream anyway and everyone believed her, except me and your Mother." Robbie smiled a little.

"Really? You believed I was innocent?" He asked in shock, a grin on his face. "I thought you of all people would have been condemning me to hell." Cecelia tried to smile back; she knew that she would have to tell Robbie why she was so supportive of him and why Briony was even accusing him in the first place.

"There was a reason for it all though," she said quietly, deciding to spit it all out instead of giving him mini-dramas. "She saw us at the fountain. You had broken a vase and I jumped into the water to get it and when I came out my clothes were see-through and you were there and you saw. Briony thought that you had ordered me to take my clothes off and jump in and then you wrote me a rather explicit letter. A letter about my body and a certain part and Briony opened it. She assumed you were a sex maniac, but you didn't mean to send it. You told me that you intended to send a more formal letter. We went to the library and that's when I knew it, I loved you and you loved me too. So we kissed, and then we went onto more. We couldn't stop, we just kept kissing and undressing until eventually we were making love, but Briony caught us. She didn't say anything, she only walked out, and she looked so shocked. The twins went missing at dinner so we had to search for them and that's when Lola was attacked and Briony saw the attacker. She said it was you. The police were called and you were nowhere to be found. I told the police not to believe her. When you came back, you had the twins. They took you away after that and they never let you out. You had to join the army and I stopped contact with my family and went to work in a hospital. I supported you until the very end."

Cecelia knew that she had been talking too fast. She would have understood if Robbie hadn't caught a word of what she said, but when she looked at him she realised that he had. He was as pale as a ghost. His eyes concentrated on the stone step below him and he looked as if he was going to be sick. She could hear him breathing and she could see a tear lacing his eye. She put her hand on his shoulder, feeling it tremble like hers had been. She then wrapped her arms around him to comfort him, resting her mouth by his ear to tell him soothing things.

"I would never do that," he told her after a few minutes of silence. "I would never have hurt Lola – "

"I know Darling, I know," she soothed. "I know you would never do that. It was only a dream, it never happened, shh."

"Wow, I really don't know what to say," Robbie choked. Cecelia smiled and hugged him a little tighter. "Did you really love me?"

"With all my heart," she whispered in his ear. She knew that she hadn't been dreaming her feelings. She felt her heart pounding and her stomach exploding with butterflies. She felt exactly the way she did before he had kissed her in her dream. "I still do." Robbie then turned to face her, no doubt checking her sincerity. She was being honest; nothing seemed as truthful as what her heart was telling her now. Robbie then kissed the back of her hand, his breath on her skin made her heart thump harder.

"I've wanted you to say that for so long," he smiled in disbelief. She saw that tear escaping down his cheek and wiped it away, his warm face so soft to touch and so thrilling.

"I love you Robbie," she told him again, kissing him on the lips. She felt him kiss her back and that's when she realised that her dream had been a stern warning. She was being shown the reality of life if her heart hadn't been so honest. Perhaps things wouldn't have happened exactly the way they had, but she would have still lost Robbie forever. It had been unbearable in her dream, it would only have been worse in reality.

"I love you too Cee," he smiled, kissing her this time. It felt so right. It felt like their lips had only been designed to join with the others. It felt like they couldn't be parted from this day onwards and they wouldn't be.

Cecelia then heard the shocked gasp coming from a familiar set of lungs. She looked up to see thirteen-year-old Briony standing before them. She felt her heart begin pounding again and the memories from her dream flooded back to her. No, surely it wouldn't play out like she had seen it. Robbie looked up and saw Briony, but instead of worry, Cecelia saw a grin spread across his face. Briony then also smiled, holding her latest masterpiece in her hands.

"I wanted you to read it," she said to him. Robbie took it out of her hands. "It's a story this time, _The Trials of Arabella. _I was going to make it a play, but I changed my mind."

"Of course I will pal," he promised her, winking.

"I wanted her to love you," she then added, looking to Cecelia excitedly. "I wanted you to be together and get married." Cecelia then smiled, her whole body breaking down in relief. She looked at Briony, trying to find doubts in her, but she seemed sincerely happy for them. "I'm going to tell Mummy!"

Leon arrived in the early afternoon as he promised, bringing bouquets of flowers for his Mother and Cecelia. He parked his car and walked into the house, where his ecstatic Mother who wasn't in bed like he was used to seeing her, greeted him. "Leon thank God you're here!" She smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "You must come into the living room! Where's your friend?"

"We had a falling out, so it'll only be me," he told her sadly, but his Mother didn't seem too concerned with the turn out of events. He followed her into the living room where his distant cousins were sitting on the floor. He noticed Briony sitting on the armchair, squashing next to their Mother who had taken her seat. Cecelia was sitting on the couch…holding hands with Robbie Turner, laughing as she was telling some sort of story.

"Leon!" She exclaimed, walking over to join him, patting Robbie's hand as she let it go. "I've missed you dearly!"

"I've missed you too," he smiled, still confused about why everyone was gathered in the one room. "Have you been waiting on me?"

"Well yes, and no," Cecelia confessed, the smile still on her face. She then held up her left hand and that's when Leon saw the sparkler on her finger. He gasped and took her hand, examining the unique and petite diamond ring on his little sister's finger. Cecelia looked at Robbie who was clearly nervous.

"You're engaged?" He asked her in shock. Then he looked at Robbie, whose scarlet cheeks were only a dead giveaway of who her fiancé was.

"Robbie asked me just before you came," she told him, "What do you think?" Leon saw the look of hope in her eyes. He could tell that she and Robbie were both desperate for his approval. He looked around at everyone else. Briony was absolutely thrilled sitting next to their equally ecstatic Mother. The cousins looked happy too, Lola seemed happy; her faith in love had been restored since her parents' nasty split. Even Danny Hardman wore a smile on his face in the background. Robbie's Mother stood behind him, her hand on her son's shoulder; she looked so relieved. Relieved that he wasn't going to be like his Father after all. There was only one thing that Leon could say.

"Congratulations!" He exclaimed, kissing his sister on the cheek and hugging her again. He walked over to Robbie and shook his hand. Happiness was spreading through his body so rapidly. "This is brilliant news!"

Cecelia sat back own next to Robbie and stroked his hand, kissing him on the cheek. "I told you it would be alright," she whispered to him. "The old man said he would be fine with it." Leon was further assured when he realise that his Father had also given his blessing.

After Leon was told the full story, which he loved every minute of, Robbie winked at Briony, who took out multiple sheets of paper from beside her. "Everyone, we do have a small surprise," he said, his voice was still slightly weak because of how nervous he had been.

Everyone looked up, waiting excitedly. Robbie looked to his future wife, who nodded, approving his choice of entertainment. He squeezed her hand and smiled.

"Briony would like to read out her new novel," he said, everyone glanced at Briony who had become shy all of a sudden.

"That would be fabulous," her Mother smiled, kissing her daughter in the cheek. Leon and the others nodded, making sure they were seated comfortable. Robbie kissed Cecelia and she kissed him back, resting her head on his shoulder. Briony saw them mouth 'I love you' before she agreed to read.

"Is everyone sure?" She asked nervously.

"Go on," Cecelia smiled, urging her on.

"Okay," Briony said and she began reading. This was how she imagined it. She glanced at her sister and future brother-in-law and remembered why she had always had faith in true love.


End file.
